Do Atheists Exist?

Tuesday, March 22, In the year of our Lord 2011
My House, Caronport Saskatchewan
Making Supper, 5:39PM
Weather = Windy, Overcast, Melting / Freezing

"I’m an Atheist… Rawr"

Over the past week I have had the pleasure of running into several people who, when they hear that I or one of my friends is from Caronport, introduce themselves as Atheists. After listening to them for about ten seconds I was convinced that they were actually not Atheists at all. After spending six years studying Christian Theism I am convinced that real Atheists are kind of like the dinosaurs in that they are extinct and occasionally sighted by people or organizations who have little understanding of the topic or have little credibility in the eyes of the rest of the world.

Now I don’t want to get the card carrying members of the Hitchens / Dawkins New Atheist crowd in a tizzy by supposedly saying that their beliefs are invalid and am therefore a dogmatic oppressive [insert label here]. I think there are many reasons why ramming religion down peoples’ throats is a bad thing and why belief in God can be pure ignorance and conforming to social religious structures. I am aware of the pattern of the human mind to rationalize things that it cannot understand. Some of these ideas I even agree with. I think that there are many people who create an idea of God and then write books about it and create an oppressive religion that goes around to convert everyone because they are short sighted dogmatic fools with inferiority complexes and some of them would fall under the religion of Christianity which I adhere to. I think there is validity in arguments that show that religion causes far more strife, suffering, and damage than anything else in the whole world. Yet for all these things we have not entered into what real Atheism is.

Atheism, real Atheism, is the belief in “no Theism.” You might think that that is what I just described above, but it is not. It is one thing to be anti-religion or pagan or agnostic, these are rational logical options but real Atheism is not. Why? Because it is incredibly difficult to prove that something does not exist, far harder than it is to prove that something does exist. Unless there is some sort of rock solid proof of something’s nonexistence it is impossible to be justified in that belief. The popular "I hate religion because I had to endure living in a Christian School / Home," doesn't count.

[Note to any readers who think they are Atheists: when beginning a conversation on this topic do not begin with “well I’m an Atheist and I think that it’s wrong to stuff religion down people’s throats,” because in doing so you are being the exact same confrontational religious throat stuffer that you despise. You do not need God to have a religion and loudly proclaiming you opinion about God is no different than anyone else loudly proclaiming their opinion about God.]

I hear the challenge from self-proclaimed Atheists to scientifically prove that God exists. [sarcasm]Hmm, that sounds like a good challenge… attempt to prove the existence of a non-material entity using a system that is utterly restricted to evaluating material things.[/sarcasm] Failure to achieve this impossible task will somehow prove that God does not exist. If anyone who considers themselves an Atheist happens to read this, I’m sorry, but this challenge is ridiculous. Can I bake a cake using only a hammer? Do I cease to believe in the existence of cake because it cannot be baked only using a hammer? Science is a useful tool, but it is not the only tool used in acquiring knowledge of reality and restricting yourself to only one tool designed for a particular purpose is very shortsighted. Other tools for understanding reality are Philosophy, Mathematics, and the Dialectical Method. If you are going to restrict yourself to Science then here’s some homework, scientifically prove the validity of the Scientific Method assuming that it does not have validity. Science itself only receives its validity from the same methods that give validity and proof for the existence of God.

Let us make an example. Say someone firmly believed that unicorns did not exist. In fact, I’m sure that most people believe that unicorns do not exist. We have never in any scientific study discovered a real unicorn. I have never in my entire life seen a real unicorn, nor have I ever heard of one being spotted. Let us say that I have somehow obtained complete knowledge of the entire human experience of every human being that ever lived and ever will live, and I still could not find any unicorns, it would not be enough to prove their nonexistence. What I would need is knowledge of all things of all times, which I do not have, to prove that unicorns do not exist. That, or find a logical contradiction in the existence of unicorns. Trying to disprove God is the same way, having never seen one or thinking that they are a dumb idea does not disprove anything. Any Atheist argument I have ever seen has boiled down to “I have never seen any proof for God” or “I think that the idea of God is a bad idea.” Both of these are completely valid arguments in their own right, but the conclusion can never be “therefore God does not exist.” Even demonstrating how all the things we attribute to God (creation, morals, concepts of God, etc) could instead by attributed to something else is little more than imagining our own little worlds and does absolutely nothing to proving God’s nonexistence. At best one can be agnostic with a hostility towards Theism.

Freedom in Christ: Concerning Books

Tuesday March 15th, In the year of our Lord 2011

My House, Caronport Saskatchewan

Waiting for Supper to finish Cooking, 5:33PM

Weather = Clear Skies, Calm, and Melting :)

One of the absolutely incredible things about Christianity is the freedom every believer has to do as he or she sees fit. It is so scandalously radical when you understand how far this freedom goes. The instant reaction is to say "yes there is incredible freedom in Christ, but..." and we instantly try to put qualifiers on the freedom.

And perhaps a qualifier is necessary. Christian freedom is not to be confused with freedom from all restraints. Christian freedom is indeed two sided. God allows us to do anything we want, but if we are indeed seeking Christ then God will change our desires to be the same things that God wants. There is freedom against the oppressive rulings of religion.

Here are two passages on Christian freedom.

1 Corinthians 10:23-33

1 Peter 2:13-17

So what does it mean to have this freedom concerning books? In short, it means that Christians can read whatever books they want! Christians are free to read books on any topic, even books that promote things that are contrary to Christ's rule.

There is a mentality within many streams of Christianity that this should not be the case. I think this idea is quite pervasive in many denominations.

We'll start with the most extreme that Christians should only read the Bible and books written by approved authors Books about Science will lead Christians to doubt the Bible and damage their faith putting their eternal soul in jeopardy! Novels like the Harry Potter series give the Devil opportunity to work his evil in your life and in the lives of those around you! The philosophers of any age are fools with unenlightened minds who only lead people astray by an earthly wisdom which is not like God's wisdom. One must also be extremely wary of books written by false believers! (basically anyone who thinks differently than you do)

Here's another version, Christians shouldn't read certain books because looks bad and reflects poorly upon the church. I mean, what would the kids at school think if they saw you reading Harry Potter or Twilight and what would the church board think if they saw their pastor reading and enjoying [insert scandalous title / author here] (The Shack, the Q'uran, Liberal Theology, etc...) Christians are supposed to be different, set apart by God, and if unbelievers see you reading these books then they will think that you are no different than them. Worst of all it could damage the image of the church.

I'm quite sure that I haven't done these ideas complete justice, but I don't care. Christians are free to read whatever books they want and any objections to this fact will disappear in light of God's omnipotence and omniscience. If a Christian is truly a Christian then he or she will have God's Holy Spirit inside of them, directing them into all truth. How can someone lose The Holy Spirit inside of them? Well I suppose one could tell him to go away or just ignore Him forever, but reading books (even witchcraft books) can not effect a Christian's spiritual status. Christian Children do not read through Harry Potter and decide to just become a Wiccan instead.

There are perfectly good reasons for Christians to read Nonchristian books. After all, how are you going to understand this generation's fascination with Harry Potter if you never read the books? (to say nothing of the value of a well written story in and of itself) How are you supposed to understand the thoughts a troubled teen girl's view of love if you've never read Twilight? How are you supposed to speak intelligibly about Evolution if you've never read Darwin and and the school of books that came after him? How are you supposed to help people in a car accident if you've never read the First Aid book? I suppose that in all things you could pray and proceed in faith that God will give you the correct words / understanding / divine miracle for the occasion, but why then do so many Christians look like complete idiots and make many wrong decisions and say so many stupid things?

God's truth is not restricted to one book. Furthermore how is one supposed to appreciate truth if one never encounters anything to test it against? In reading books we can understand an idea and in understanding an idea we can properly critique it or even destroy it utterly.

But what if there is a powerful idea that goes against Christianity and can't be disproved? The answer here is that all truth is God's truth. Be bold little Christian, do not be afraid, God is God and nothing can happen without his willing it. Supposing that something like the Theory of Evolution was actually a historical fact, that the Earth wasn't actually created in 6 literal days for instance, then Christianity would not fall apart at the seems because it is only understanding more deeply how God created the universe in history. This would re-interpret the way we think about Genesis and make it more narrative and less scientific fact, but there is no need to be afraid. The Christian may pursue truth and understanding of reality to whatever end it may have without fear. To do any less is to already doubt your own faith in a supposedly all powerful, all knowing God.

Restricting books on the other hand will stunt growth and is also one of the signs of indoctrination. If Christians were to only read The Bible and books written by 'trustworthy Christians' then they would be an absolutely ignorant and stupid people. We would be easily manipulated, completely backwards and nigh useless in the world of today. We would be superstitious, foolish, and continually afraid of the outside world. This is not the call of Christ, but it is a strong distrust of him.

The book of Proverbs tells us to strive after wisdom and understanding. It is such an incredible thing. Even as a Christian I could study and understand an idea and have it spur on and grow my love for Christ and understanding of all things. Even if the idea is damaging to faith, understanding it allows one to know the presuppositions and intricate train of thought within its making and you can simply say "I understand it fully and also disagree with it for the following reasons, and I am completely justified in doing so!"

Now the complete freedom of Christ concerning books is just like the complete freedom of Christ concerning alcohol, some people just can not handle it. With books come ideas, and ideas can do great harm to an individual and to a community. Therefore not all Christians should be introduced to all books, just as not all Christians be introduced to alcohol. There are some who's faith would collapse if they studied something like Evolution or 'Religious Studies' (which is often a thoroughly a-theist division in most universities). If someone is troubled by your freedom to understand non-Christian ideas then Paul has commanded us not to talk about those ideas around that person.

So the Christian can read books without fear. To live in a religion where truth were fragile and could not stand up the very worst (or even a moderate amount of what) the world could throw at it would be a very contrary place for someone who believes in a supposed all powerful God. It is helpful to remember that the focus of the Christian is on Christ, not on knowledge for knowledge's sake. I am convinced that true knowledge of any type is the realm of Christ.

To quote Paul in the book of Romans:

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

Writers Rage

Sunday, March 3 in the year of our Lord 2011

Caronport, Saskatchewan

Unsure, 11:22 PM

Weather = melting

Writer's Rage. [content warning: swearing ahead]

I wish to tell stories, I wish to weave tales and bring them to life as only a master writer can. The words do not flow to paper and my mind does not relish them like it used to. Tonight I am frustrated because I wish that I had kept up my writing, even though it was never good enough for my standards. Perhaps if I had forced myself forward I would have gotten better.

This like all things would take time and effort, time and effort that is divided among the other aspects of my life. Damn you entrenched habits! But I will not give up. Oh no, I might not have the words tonight but I will take stock of what it takes to make this happen.

A professor of philosophy once told me that if I wanted to be a better writer then I must read classical writing. Classical writing is the foundation from which anything worth keeping is built on. They deal with the enduring, the eternal, and they are masterfully written. Unfortunately, I don't even know where to start with that. But I know where to find out.

It will be work, ugh... so much work. Damn you lazy and undisciplined mind! Why must you be so dull and foolish!

I'm sure that I have many reasons for blaming my past. I used to write all the time and I was constantly frustrated because I knew my work was mere blather of a yet to mature 3rd to 12th grader. None of it was worth reading, it was an endless stream of emotion pent up from a miserable experience in the public education system which is another rant that I need to get out of my system later. My writing was futile, an endless story with no plot, poorly written, little more than the scattered fantasies of a brooding youth. What I want is excellence. What I want is to make the reader weep because the writing strikes at his very soul and confronts him in a manner that makes him face the reality of the eternal things. I want my writing to be a channel of God and of His truth. What I ended up creating was a poorly translated interpretation of the silly adventures in my head. And here I am sad, because the adventures were not silly at the time, they were inspiration, manifestation of my very self and God's work in my life. Looking back though they appear silly. And they WERE poorly translated. How does one translate the deep thoughts of the soul or the inspirations of the mind on two dimensional paper? I tried, and I was always frustrated because I knew that it was not coming through properly.

Maybe if my bloody useless damned to Hell public English education had involved reading actual books instead of dowsing my spark early in life then I wouldn't be 15 years held back! I think that I actually loath this system, yes I'm quite sure of it. I loath the fact that we dumb down everything so that people learn nothing. It was quite damaging to me. Pointless assignments about boring books from teachers who were bound by a curriculum designed by morons. Yes, morons. Morons who somehow managed to take a subject with the highest potential of learning, fun, and encouraging study and creativity and turning it into a tasteless... no, bitter, numbing, creativity sapping, tedious, and pointless task. It killed my love of reading. The only reason I continued on with writing was because one teacher had the boldness to go against the curriculum and read us a story that fed my imagination for years and then had us write our own stories. I had never ever been so excited for an assignment before or since. I was the first one to read my story. Me! Quiet Greg! I read my story first in the grade seven class, and it was eighteen pages long! At the end my class clapped for me, the clapped longer for me than they did for any other story. Then I had to endure five years worth of useless crap in which I never learned anything. I learned how to structure a sentence in grade three, I learned how to write an essay in grade five, and I learned how to write a story in grade seven. Everything since then, useless. A choice between two of three Garbage books that were rammed down our throats every year and then we had to answer a myriad of shallow questions which only served to prove that we did our infernal readings so we didn't fail the class. I never new what English really was until I got to college, it is fascinating and beautiful and I am astounded at the fact that public education succeeded in making it a boring and irrelevant class.

But I must come to terms with the fact that what happened has happened and that it does not dictate my future. I might have a natural aversion to books now, but I have the power to work through that. I just have to want to. Unfortunately my desires are quite fleeting and I regret the fact that I have come to this point several times before and have never been able to keep at it.

At this point you might be wondering what brought this on. I found a story that provoked my imagination and sent me back to 7th-12th grade when I wrote, striving to capture the inspiration that kept me going. It sparked a creative new idea for a game that I play storyteller for and I have been hard at work creating a framework to make it happen. Also, a good friend of mine is a fantastic writer who has people literally begging her to write books. I may be slightly jealous that she has come so far, knowing that I could have done the same but was held back and also held myself back. I know that I could be so much better, that my life could defined more by writing than by pointless video games. That spark burns within me. God has put it inside of me, the spark that ever hungers for knowledge and wisdom. Not that I would call myself knowledgeable or wise, but I thirst of these things. And to write, to be able to speak to another man's soul about an eternal question. So I am frustrated and angry that this has been denied me. I have so many stories uncompleted, none of them even worth completing it feels like.

The thing that always stops me is the drag of life on my desires. I am not disciplined. I never learned it. Everything from food to laundry was done for me and I never had to try in school to get by. All I did was play video games and try to write when it was an obsessive passion. I never did homework, except for when I absolutely had to. I never had to lift a finger to get good food or a clean house, I had no friends to speak of save maybe one or two that played video games with me, all I did was video games. I wish that I had read books instead. Video games stimulated my mind, they made me think. Problem solving, logic, storyline, strategy, it was far better than watching TV which is passive and talking about movies, farming, and pointless movies with my peers never struck me as an option worth considering. I don't think they were stupid, they were just interested in other things, simple and shallow things. Contemplating the meaning of life, hypothesizing about time travel, and sharing my deep fascination with fantasy didn't seem like appropriate conversation topics to engage in. But I always end up going back to video games as the thing that I do in my spare time. They are fun, stimulating, accessible, challenging, and probably one of the very sweetest of tasting ways to sabotage my potential. So I'm uninstalling them. All of them. Good bye and good riddance, if folks like CS Lewis, GK Chesterton, any of the profs on campus or my friend that I mentioned earlier can pursue the same things that I earn for and achieve them then so can I. I know that I can, so what will stop me.

Lack of community has been an enemy of the past. Nobody save my grandparents read my writing and maybe my parents eventually. This one is painful. If there was one thing that I wept bitterly about it was lack of community. If my writing was ever fueled by pain or anger then this was why. No friends, feeling like an outcast, even the supposed Christians had no interest in me. Bullying in elementary school made me put up barriers of uncaring, almost the same as how Severus Snape blocks his mind. By the time I reached middle and high school I had detached completely and was dying inside the walls I put up to keep everyone out so they couldn't hurt me. I think my writing is what preserved my sanity and my spark of life. I poured myself into it, and was constantly frustrated because I knew that although I was pouring everything I had it was still inferior, not worth reading by the average reader. And this is where it got really painful, I could not convince my closest friends, my English teachers, or even those I loved most to read what I wrote. I could not get any feedback any advise, any suggestions or any acknowledgements of anything from anyone save my grandmother who kept every copy of every story and whose encouragement has always meant so much to me. I poured everything I had into my writing, it was how I coped with the rejection and mind numbingness of high school. To write stories for specific people and wait years for them to actually read them compounds the pain that fueled the writing in the first place.

I'm not sure how much progress I've made on this one. I don't feel pain about this anymore but I do still feel anger. I have a community now, which has been a huge blessing. My past does not determine my future and my present is very good.

So, what is stopping me from writing.

Lack of know how.

I will read classical literature in order to learn how, and I will write to teach myself

Fickle Desires. Poor use of time.

I will uninstall all video games and schedule myself time when I must write and get help from my community.

Fear

Damn you to Hell Fear, you do not control me!

I've had writers block for three years now and I refuse to simply let this dream go. If I do not use something it will eventually be lost. I refuse to lose my spark. It will be hard to change my habits, but nothing is impossible and I refuse to let go of this hope. I will not be bested by laziness and I will not accept drifting about at the Master's level.

Greg Out