Monday, February 14, In the year of our Lord 2011
My House, Caronport Saskatchewan
Lamenting the fact that the day is over, 11:35 PM
Weather = Melting?
A few weeks ago a bunch of us went back in time. We prepared ahead of time specifically for this occasion. We made sure to bring suitable garb that would have been common in medieval times so that we could blend in as much as possible. We were briefed on how to address royalty when court was held. We also brought our own feasting gear so as to not give away our being from the future. Then we piled into two cars and traveled 8 hours to Winnipeg and somewhere between 400 and 1000 years back in time to Castle Rouge. Yes, Winnipeg had castles back then. They were part of the Kingdom of Northshield. How did we travel back in time? The Yeti showed us how.
The occupants of Castle Rouge were a fine number of men and women, very personable and welcoming of outsiders. We introduced ourselves as pirates from the Kingdom of Antir and they were most intrigued. The local merchants offered to show us their wears and I believe our Captain was able to barter for two crystal glasses which shall grace the ship nicely. We also met good man Laurie, who proved to be an excellent herald, entertainer, conversationalist, and authentically good and caring person. We met many fine men and women with incredible medieval colors and patterns. The baron, 'Evil Eric' welcomed us warmly, but it was a trick. He had been bribed by a countess to have us reveal our names. Castle Rouge was a very pleasant place where no war or sparing occurred, but there was still much danger and intrigue to be had.
It wasn't long before we found ourselves in the middle of a hidden war of subtlety and grace. Those amiable merchants, those gentle ladies, those personable men and polite guests from the east... assassins... all of them! We banned together as a crew for our lives! I am convinced that we could fair well in a fight be it with heavy or with rapier, but this was treacherous. One by one the citizens of Castle Rouge fell through treachery and bribery. Someone was found dead in the back hallway, but nobody heard him die or had seen any trace of a killer. A horrible accident at port killed a beautiful young assassin, a mast fell on her, and I know the crewman who did it. The man beside me was nearly stabbed in the back except the assassin lost her dagger at the last second and merely brushed against him. Someone poisoned the juice pitcher and many a man and woman died a slow death. The Baron himself was poisoned in like manner, except the three dagger wounds already given him allowed the poison to run out and he did not die. As I was chatting with one of the crew he was blown to pieces by a stray cannon ball which was fired by a Byzantine vessel aiming at the Turks. His killer was in turn slain by poisonous gold. Then one of the merchants made as if to give one of our ladies a necklace, but slit her throat after earning her trust. We charged this man with murder, and when the Baron held court he was found guilty and had to wear a painfully fluorescent pink hat that said 'busted.' Then I witnessed my friend Korsak stabbed in the back by the Baroness and I called the guard but it was too late. It was madness, MADNESS I SAY!
Then we were brought together for high court and we got to witness the ceremony, pomp, and shenanigans of the medieval court. I enjoyed the banter between lords and ladies and the manner in which case the Baron (Evil Eric) presided over the court. It reminded me a lot of church actually. Alas, the princess could not attend that night, she was delayed south of the boarder because of the horrendous weather. I was thoroughly amused that the Baron was referred to as Evil Eric. Apparently he is an infamous trickster who delights in causing mischief. He is already willing to hire a pirate ship from another kingdom and give us permission to raise the jolly roger in Northshield.
Then we feasted. Oh what a feast! I have never tasted vegetables like this before, with seafood dip and the fresh bread, so incredible. I think microwave dinners and fast food were two solid steps backwards from the 1300's. Tuscan Orange Salad, Cornbread with cheese, Veal wrapped in Ham! One of our crew was stabbed in the back during the feast but by that time we didn't care... the food was so good!
After much clearing and cleaning the floor space was used as a dance hall. There were many eager ladies looking for lords to dance with. At this time I very subtly and gracefully departed unseen and sat with a friend on the staircase. She had injured herself coming out of the car so she could not participate in the dancing although she wanted to greatly. I was quite sad for her. To be hurt stepping out of a car when you finally arrive at an event after 8 hours of traveling hardly seems fair. It was good to just talk and be away from the everyone else though. 8 hours in a small vehicle and the stress and noise of medieval life can wear on an introvert. It was good to be alone, but not good to be lonely. Good Laurie joined us for a time and then we went to the dance floor and parted to watch at a safe distance. During one of the last dances our ambassador 'tossed' one of the ladies incorrectly. He was expecting to toss his wife but she was somehow replaced by a shorter lady who's bust line was near exactly where his wife's waistline should have been. The captain was summoned as the lady smirked with sadistic glee as to what punishment should befall the embarrassed ambassador. Her face was bright red, and the ambassador had to constantly fan her as his hearing progressed and as the hearing progressed the ambassador became redder and fanned harder. It was decided that we would pay the lady a pound in chocolate by a certain event, but if payment was not received or found adequate, then the issue would be brought to pirate court, in which case our ambassador would be thoroughly hooped.
Then we retired to the families that housed us the first night, ate some pizza, had our lives threatened by some very tired and disgruntled crewmen, and promptly went to bed. The next day we traveled back through space and time (under Yeti's constant instruction) to Caronport in the present. It was a wonderful journey, one of which I will not soon forget. :)
[see video from event here]
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