It's not all about you

"It's not all about you." I think everyone understands this saying to at least some degree. Children will grow up one day and realize "it's not all about them." When someone is stuck on getting their way we may tell them, "it's not all about you." One the lessons I've been learning as a husband and a father is that "it's not all about me." In order to work well with others and to become a better person we need to realize that our opinions are not the only ones that matter, other people don't think the same way I / you / we think, and that we are not always going to get our way.

What I've been seeing as a pattern, and I have yet to fully map it out or understand it, is a divine "it's not all about you," in response to so much of our spiritual / political issues in North American culture. We are rich and get upset or worried when we hear the words of Jesus to give all we have to the poor. Wealth needs to managed responsibly and those who are wealthy need to be aware of and take care of those who are poor. Because it's not all about you. God doesn't bestow wealth so that a lucky few can insulate themselves in pleasure palaces and drive luxury cars, the expectation is that you will honor God with the wealth he gives you and put your desires aside in favour of God's desires.

The same applies to your time. I love my me time. I often desire more of it. I have responsibilities though and my time is not actually mine, it is God's and my wife's and my sons' time. I don't just get to spend time how ever I feel like, I spend it where it is needed by others first and then myself. I don't do this perfectly of course, but it's the direction I've been heading and I think it is very important.

A friend of mine posted an article about transabled people who are able-bodied people who wish to acquire a disability. Some have their legs or hands amputated, others wish to become blind or deaf, and so on. The general reaction to this has been disbelief, anger, and the prevailing idea that something must be wrong with these people. It's currently known as "Body Integrity Identity Disorder" in the DSM. Once again I think there is something key in Jesus calling to these people that "it's not all about you." Sure you may wish and hope and fantasize about having no legs but God gave you those legs to serve him and serve others. You may gain temporary personal fulfillment in chopping them off and living your dream but for the love of God stop and think about others because it's not all about you. The resources and funding that could go to people who didn't have a choice in being disabled. The calling God has on your life to serve him and serve others.

Same message goes for sexual desires. No, you can't indulge your sexual appetite all the time because it's not all about you. No, you can't just leave your spouse because you find someone else more appealing because it's not all about you. Sometimes you need to give when you don't feel like giving and sometimes you need to hold back when you want to keep going because it's not all about you. God's intentions for sexuality and family are inseparable and our North American culture rebels and revolts against them in the name of freedom because we haven't yet learned that it's not all about us. My body is not my own, it was purchased with Christ's blood and given in pledge to my wife. I don't get to use it however I want because it's not all about me.